Jokes as comments

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3 Responses to “Jokes”

  1. vishthril Says:

    Hi guys these are a mixed jokes
    read and enjoy

    Do you know of a Sardar who parked his car in
    front of board which said FINE FOR PARKING
    —————–
    A drunk was hauled into court.
    Mister, the judge began, you’ve been brought
    here for drinking..

    Great, the drunk exclaimed. When do we get started?
    —————–
    Can you do anything that other people can’t?
    Sure, I can read my handwriting..
    —————–
    When a wife was asked: What book do you like the best?
    She answers: My husband’s cheque book..
    —————-
    Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
    Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
    —————-
    My father is so old that when he was in school, history
    was called current affairs.
    —————-
    Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey
    and stopped him, what virtue would I be Showing?

    Student: Brotherly love.
    —————–
    Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
    Sam : No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
    ——————
    Manager: Sorry, but I can’t give u a job. I don’t need much help. Job
    Applicant: That’s all right. In fact I’m just the right person in
    this case. You see, I won’t be of much help anyway!!
    ——————–
    Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
    Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
    ——————–
    Teacher: Desmond, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as
    your brother’s. Did u copy his?
    Desmond: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
    ——————–
    Diner: I can’t eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
    Waiter: It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.
    ——————–
    Diner: You’ll drive me to my grave!
    Waiter: Well, you don’t expect to walk there, do you?
    ———————
    Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
    Wife: I think he did, I’ve still got mine with me!
    ——————–
    Man: Officer! There’s a bomb in my garden!
    Officer: Don’t worry. If no one claims it within three days
    , you can keep it.
    ——————
    Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to
    teach you anything!

    Son: That’s why I say she’s no good!
    ————–
    Should women have children after 35
    No, 35 children are more than enough!
    —————-
    No one has ever complained of a parachute not
    opening..
    —————-
    Living on Earth may be expensive, but it
    includes an annual free trip around the Sun..
    —————-
    Children in backseats cause accidents
    Accidents in backseats cause children !

    *****************************************************************************

    funny questions & answers
    Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2
    Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don’t have anything
    else with you in the boat? How will you do it?

    Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will
    become LIGHTER……..using this LIGHTER you can light the other
    Cigarette
    another deadly answer. Scroll down a little
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    Anoth! er solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win
    Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
    If that was not enough, one more deadly answer…. scroll down.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop…(TIP – TIP)

    “TIP TIP barsa Pani.

    Pani ne aag lagayee.”

    us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee”.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    If that was not enough, one more deadly answer…. scroll down

    Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & “jalney
    lagega”

    ********************************************************************************

    SOME FUNNY CONVERSIONS…….
    RAM SITA HAI … TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
    Ans – . TAILOR ( darzi )

    Q2. SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
    Ans – . Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)

    Q3. Prasad ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi… Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi
    but goes directly to Tendulkar.? why ?? why ?? đŸ™‚
    Ans:- Tendulkar is an opener

    Q5. Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
    Ans:- aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

    Q6. What will! u call a person who is leaving India ??
    Socho……………
    Ans:- Hindustan Lever (Leaver).

    Q7. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha?
    Ans:- adidas

    Q8. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls
    into the well. Why ?
    Ans:- Because Luv is blind!!!!!

    Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot’s of head scratching done.
    Ans:- Luv ke liye saala kuch bhi karega!!!!

    Want one more…

    Q9. Jackie Chan ki saas ka naam kya hai?.. nahi pata..??
    Ans:- D’Cold chain ki saans !!!!!!

  2. vishthril Says:

    Brunette Meets Genie
    spacer

    A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

    The genie says, “You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much.”

    The woman says, “Okay. Give me a nice house.”

    The genie replies, “You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two.”

    The the lady says, “Give me a gorgeous man.”

    The genie replies, “You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two.”

    The lady says, “For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it.”

  3. vishthril Says:

    Offer made to Adam

    God looks down and notices that Adam is all alone while all the animals have companions, so he decides to create a companion for man as well. He comes to see Adam and says to him, “Adam, you are my greatest creation and therefore, I am going to create for you the ultimate companion. She will worship the very ground you walk on, she will long for you and no other, she will be highly intelligent, she will wait on you hand and foot and obey your every command, she will be beautiful, and all it will cost you is an arm and a leg.” Thinking for a few moments, Adam replies, “What could I get for a rib?”

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